Finally

What....a.....flippin......week.

From GREAT news to shit news, I've had one of those weeks where it feels like Bruce Lee smacked me upside the head and I am still reeling.

This is what I learnt:
1.) When things get really tough (or exceptionally good), everyone is an expert.
2.) When things get tough, very few people pick up the phone to ask you how you are.
3.) When things go well everyone picks up the phone to see how you are.
4.) That certain medical facilities are just businesses and that they really want to 'treat' you (read: operate and sell you drugs) because it makes them money.
5.) That some doctors will lie to you and then other doctors (who you happen to do work for) will tell you the truth about those doctors!
6.) That roast chicken is really good.

With that, I now have to get back to work.
But not without attaching the link to a song.
Cheers peeps. And have a good weekend.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9K4BKkLaCI

Just bitchin'

Today is not a particularly bad day; nor is it a particularly good day. But if I had to put the good and bad on a scale, I would say the bad is kind of outweighing the good in some minor ways.

I have a meeting with a client in about an hour and so - instead of being  a good girl and doing some more work - I thought I would, you know, call you up and have a bitching session. So, here I am, having a bitching session. About my day.

This morning I couldn't wake up. You see, in summer in this city (which one cannot name for fear of deportation and various other things... oh, now you know where I live!) it's ridiculoulsly hot outside and absolutely freezing inside because of the air conditioning.
I was so snuggly and warm and cosy and happy and all other kitten-like adjectives in my bed this morning that I could not - to be honest- have given an absolute rat's arsed damn about getting up, except, well I need the god damn money.

So I got up. Then I showered. Then I came to work where the air con is turned so f***ing high (low?) that when I go and make tea (you know, to defrost my veins)  it starts snowing at the sink. Seriously.
Then I went to my desk and turned on my computer. Then my computer decided that it didn't like my face so it froze. Which is ironic because the office is so freezing. So I sat down and sighed.

Luckily this morning my taxi driver was friendly. Yesterday I had a real waffle for a taxi driver. He was sweet, but played it thick as all hell.
Firstly, let me ask all of you taxi drivers (yeah, I know there are hundreds of taxi drivers who read this blog) how can you NOT carry change? I mean, do you really expect me to believe that day-in and day-out, you have no f***ing change? Seriously? I have to pay an extra two dirhams everyday because YOU do not have change. I mean, WTF? (By the way I have now made a vow that I will not leave any taxi without exact change. Even the guy has to get his itchy ass out the car and get it for me.)
Secondly, is it really necessary to:
a.) Scratch your arse and/or nuts while I am in the car?
b.) Swear at passing cars in a language I don't understand with your hair all sticking up and your eyes all squint like a psycho?
c.) Stare at me in the rearview. (I can see you arsewipe! It's called a mirror!)

Right now, as I write, my computer's hard drive sounds like it's going to take off and the screen keeps freezing like Paris Hilton having a conversation with Albert Einstein.
Sigh.

Plus, I just ordered a cheap toasted sandwich (I am broke and only get paid in a few days) which had cucumber on it. Who the f*** puts cucumber on a toasted sandwich? I mean, chef, has your mother got mental problems that she taught you to put cucumber on toasted bread? Huh? HUH?

And now, with an ice cream headache, a stomach full of toasted cucumber (*weeps uncontrollaby*) and a computer that's not cooperating, I need to leave to go to a meeting I would much rather swap for cocktails on a beach in Thailand.

Such is life.

If you feel like bitchin' too, the comment box is just below. Bitch away!

Over and out,
Walnut

Top Three Greenies

From beer that’s going to save the world to wrapping your bike around a pole without crashing, and turning goop to gas, here are three of the coolest green news stories from the past few weeks.


Wrapping Your Bike around a Pole


You know when someone has a bad bike accident and witnesses say, “He wrapped his bike around the pole”? Well, now you really can – without having an accident!

Twenty-one-year old British student, Kevin Scott (who looks remarkably like Luke Wilson!), has designed a bendable bike that allows you to literally wrap your beloved two-wheeler around a pole and then lock up both tyres at the same time! Smart!

Scott’s ingenious design came about after he’d had enough of trying to fit a six-foot bike into a rack that was only a few inches wide.

The bike has a ratchet mechanism that’s rigid and bendable but not at the same time. So how it works is when you jump off your bike to park it, you push a lever on the frame and the bike becomes flexible.

The De Montfort University graduate (and his wrap-up bike) was runner-up in the Business Design Centre New Designer of the Year Award and says he’s planning to commercialise the design in the near future.


Drink More Beer; Save Energy!


Just when you thought beer couldn’t get any better! A UK-based plant will soon start converting waste from a local brewery into energy. Yup, you heard right.

The waste from about 600 pints of beer is said to be able to heat a home for a day and with Brits gulping down 28million pints a day, there’s more than enough waste to go round.

The new plant - called the Adnams Bio Energy Anaerobic Digestion Plant - will use brewery waste and local food waste to produce a renewable gas called biomethane that will be fed back into the UK’s national gas grid. By diverting waste from landfill, the plant will also prevent the release of the greenhouse gas methane into the atmosphere.

It’s thought that the plant could produce up to 4.9 million kilowatt-hours of energy annually – enough to heat 235 homes for a year. It will also produce gas that can be used as a liquid fuel. According to a study by the UK’s National Grid, biomethane could account for at least 15 percent of domestic gas consumption by 2020.


From Goop to Gas


Algae may look disgusting but the truth is it could be fuelling your car in future. According to media reports, pond scum (which contains algae) is raking in the cash, with industry and governments pouring billions into it in an attempt to unlock algal power. It makes sense, really.

Algae, the single-celled phytoplankton that produce half of our planet’s oxygen are the fastest-growing green organisms currently known to man. On land – in shallow seawater ponds – they can use sunlight and sewage to turn concentrated carbon dioxide into usable hydrocarbons, half of which can almost be poured straight into a diesel engine.

According to those in the know, ten million hectares of algae could supply all US transportation fuel! If that’s not impressive enough, algae can also live in seawater in the desert!

Last year oil giant ExxonMobil committed $600 million to develop algal fuels with genome pioneer Craig Venter. And John Benemann, formerly a lead investigator on the ASP, estimates that $2billion could be flowing into algal energy projects between 2009 and 2011.

ExxonMobil believes it will be able to sell algal diesel through existing refineries and petrol stations. They may be right. Just last month the first jet engine powered entirely by algae oil flew at an air show in Berlin, Germany.

Something like a Phenomenon

We're all a bit weird, right? Right. Therefore, we obviously come from a weird place, ie: the planet. And I don't mean weird like the guy that sat next you in high school and twitched and snarfled like he had another dude living in his brain that he could talk to, I mean weird like magical, mystical, amazing, incredibly weird. Check out these three strange phenomena that you probably haven't heard about. (If you have, kudos to you. You're, like, really kiff and stuff.)

The Eternal Storm

Slip on your wellies; this is a wet one. (It's also a bit complicated and sad because due to drought, this phenomenon has allegedly not been seen very much this year. ) The Relampago del Catatumbo (Catatumbo Lightning) is an amazing phenomenon that happens on the mouth of the Catatumbo river at Lake Maracaibo in Venezuela. The Catatumbo cloud-to-cloud lightning forms a voltage arc more than five kilometres high for 140 to 160 nights of the year, for ten hours a night, lighting up the skies as many as 280 times an hour. This almost permanent storm is thought to be the greatest single generator of ozone on the planet and is often visible up to 400km away! Some local environmentalists are pushing for the area to fall under the protection of UNESCO. I agree! (And I hope it comes back soon.) Check this out: http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/mar/05/venezuela-lighting-el-nino

The Rain of Fish

Get out the barbecue people. It's time for a fish braai. Between the months of May and July it's said that a certain area called the Departamento de Yoro in Honduras experiences, quite literally, a rain of fish. Apparently, the "rain" starts off as a dark cloud, followed by lightning, thunder, strong winds and havy rains for two to three hours. Then once the rain is done, waddya know, you got fish lying all over your lawn. Sweet. Since 1998 the city of Yoro has been hosting a festival called "Festival de la Lluvia de Pesces' (Rain of Fish Festival) to celebrate their (probably stinky) fortune. Gives new meaning to the English-Italian phrase "you'll be sleeping with the fishes".

The Longest Wave

Twice a year between February and March, some of the Atlantic Ocean is said to take a vacation up the Amazon river in Brazil, generating the longest wave known on Earth. Called Pororoca, the wave is caused by the tides of the Atlantic meeting the the mouth of the river. The "meeting" can create waves up to 12ft high and can last for over an hour. The wave can be heard 30 minutes before its arrival (hence the name Pororoca, which means "great destructive noise") and can destroy virtually anything in its path. That doesn't stop the surfers from having a go on it though.

Taking Flight

Firstly, sorry I have been slack at keeping my blog up to date.

Last week was crazy and I hardly had time to go to the loo. TMI, I know. ;)

But I am back! Woooohhhhh hhooooohhh!

So, I am a bit travel obsessed at the moment. Don't get me wrong, I am always travel obsessed but it's more intense at the moment because I found out that flydubai.com had some crazy ass flight specials which inspired me to log onto travel websites, contact travel centres and basically do some research about getting away. (The specials I am talking about expired exactly 47 minutes ago UAE time, but log onto http://www.flydubai.com/ anyway because they always have specials.)

Anyway, this entry is the result of my research. And oh my hat! There are some damn amazing places to visit on this planet. (I don't get to travel nearly enough. Hoping that changes in the future.)

If you're planning on leaving on a jet plane but have no idea where you want to go or what you want to do, have no fear! Here are three awesome places you can head to on your next holiday. (Depending on what kind of mood you think you might be in at the time.)

You feel like: Hitting a tropical hot spot and blowing all your money.

Head to: Bora Bora

Okay, so it's highly unlikely you want to head to a tropical island to blow all your cash, but if you are very rich and you haven't been to Bora Bora, it looks like the place to be. Think Azure waters, white beaches, soft waving palm trees and sipping on a pina colada in the pool. The upsides to this destination are obvious; sun, fun, cocktails. The downsides; it's frikkin expensive. Emphasise the frikkin. Check out www.tahiti-tourisme.com/islands/borabora/bore-bora.asp

If you can't afford Bora Bora: Head to the Maldives. Just as pretty and somewhat less expensive.

You feel like: Saving the pandas

Head to: China

So you've always wanted to cuddle a panda and possibly save it from extinction at the same time? Then this is the holiday for you. Head to China and spend a few weeks in a giant panda sanctuary working as a volunteer and saving these gorgeous creatures from extinction. You'll be involved with feeding and observing the pandas, as well as helping with important research projects.

If pandas aren't your thing: There are literally thousands of volunteer holidays across the world you can choose from. You can work with wildlife, children, the underpriveleged, disaster-hit areas, and more. Check out http://www.gapyearforgrownups.co.uk/ for ideas on where to holiday and help.

You feel like: Learning to surf somewhere exotic

Head to: Taghazout in Morrocco

You might not have thunk it, but Morrocco is a surfing hot spot and boasts a gazillion stunning beaches. If you'd like to learn how to surf (or know how to surf and just want to hit somenew waves) head to Taghazout on Morrocco's Atlantic coast. Only 40min from the Agadir International Airport, Taghazout's warm waters and super chilled atmosphere will have you extending your stay in no time. Rumour has it that Surf Maroc is the company to go for if you're planning a surfing holiday in the area. What's more, if you book with them they will organise your flights, accommodation, food and travel. Bonus! Check out their website on http://www.surfmaroc.co.uk/

If you're not up for Morrocco: What's wrong with you? Okay, I will let you off this time. Fly to the planet's surfer haven, Bali. It's like, radical, dude. Check out www.odysseysurfschool.com for an idea of what to expect.

See you on the plane!

Keep it Tidy

I'm doing a lot of environmental-based stuff at work at the moment and realising how much crap I accumulate. What's more, ALL of it goes in the bin.

I recently went to visit a landfill (for work) and got a first hand feel (and smell) of what goes on at a landfill. People, it's not pretty, but it's not nearly as bad as it looks. BUT, the truth is, if we don't start making a concerted effort with regards to recycling, the planet is going to be f***ed.

Without sounding like a hippie, everyone should be popping stuff in recycling bins and at recycling depots. It doesn't really take thaaaat long to separate your waste, does it? I don't do it, but I should really try and get my act together....